Work is a major part of our lives, whether in the workplace or, as is more common at the moment, working from home or even on furlough leave. It’s not just a means of income, but a place where we meet friends, socialise and hopefully find purpose and fulfilment.
We all experience times in our lives when things are hard to manage, whether related to work or in our personal lives, so often we cannot simply separate our mental well-being from how we perform at work. The estimated contribution to the UK economy from those in work who have, or have had, mental health problems is as high at £225 billion per year according to a report by the Mental Health Foundation, Oxford Economics and Unum. There is much that employers can do to support employees dealing with mental health problems. Yes, there is of course sound financial reasons for doing so, but maintaining good employee relations and doing the right thing for people should be equally compelling and actually not hard to achieve.
Good mental health at work should go hand in hand with good management. Ask anyone who has worked in a toxic working environment and they will inevitably have experienced some impact on their mental health. But creating the right environment is not solely the responsibility of leaders – whatever our role, we all have a part to play. In this week’s blog I talk about just some of the simple things that we can all do to support colleagues who are managing mental ill-health.
Mental health awareness is undoubtedly on the increase however there is still a stigma attached to it and many people find it hard to talk about and to find the right support. People face discrimination, misunderstanding, and often feel levels of distress because they do not know how people will respond to them disclosing a mental health problem. Creating a workplace culture that allows people to be themselves, and embraces the spirit of “it’s okay not to be okay” goes a long way to helping people speak out and seek support when they need it.
Mental health “first aid”
l was fortunate to be supported in achieving mental health first aid accreditation by a previous employer but not every employer has the level of resources to support such initiatives. Whether we have accreditation or not, we all have within us the ability to listen, empathise and show compassion. As colleagues, we can all take time to listen and there is no reason to discourage people from talking about how they feel. As a mental health first aider, it became abundantly clear that simply by using these natural human abilities you can not only show that you care but in extreme circumstances even save a life. When was the last time you asked someone, “How are you?” but didn’t really want to know or listen to the answer? When we know people we sense when something is not right – if so, show that you care and ask the question with sincerity.
There’s a time and a place to have such a conversation of course so find somewhere quiet and comfortable (even if that’s remotely due to lockdown at the time of writing) and make sure you have time to give. Asking someone who wants to talk whilst in a busy environment where they feel rushed is not going work. Having asked the question, listen and do so actively. By that I mean adopt open body language, acknowledge what they are telling you and try to keep eye contact (unless that seems uncomfortable for the other person). Ask questions, but don’t probe subjects that someone clearly doesn’t want to share with you. And summarise, especially if you have committed to doing something; but doing something doesn’t have to be burdensome. The most appropriate thing any of us can do is to help get someone the support they need so, for example, can you provide links to online resources, a number for the Samaritans for example, or encourage someone to see their GP? Following up and showing that you care will go a long way to helping and that person will know that they have someone to talk to. I’ve been in a situation when I’ve chaperoned someone to a GP appointment and ridden with someone else in an ambulance but such events are rare and each of us will sense where our comfort zone is, often dependant upon the person we are helping. It’s important to let the person know that you will treat what they say with respect in the knowledge that they may just want to let off steam and not necessarily need you to suggest anything – and remember we don’t always have the answers.
Thoughts of suicide
This can be the most difficult subject to deal with. I read a survey recently that suggested that 20% of us had gone to work harbouring thoughts of suicide at some point so sadly it’s not uncommon. Talking about suicide will not make a person more likely to act on their feelings. If you fear that someone is having such thoughts, or if they tell you of course, please do not be afraid to ask them about it. And don’t be afraid to be direct but in an empathetic way. Asking, “Have you had thoughts of suicide?” may just provide the catalyst for someone to open up. If the answer to the question is “yes”, or if you have suspicions then getting them help and support is the best thing you can do. That might be their GP, Samaritans, a close friend, spouse or partner. If you are concerned about someone’s immediate safety, or they tell you that they plan to end their life imminently, you can call 999 and ask for the police or take them to hospital.
The good news is that most people who develop mental health problems make a good recovery if they get the right support. It’s easy to see support as only coming from the medical community but the community more widely is vitally important, including that in the workplace. Mental ill-health can range from being a one-off event to sporadic or long-lasting and recovery is not the same as cure. Many learn with the right support to manage their mental health throughout their lives and I mention this particularly from the perspective of colleagues and line managers. I have held a mantra for much of my professional life and it’s this: there is no substitute for knowing your people. Taking a human interest in people, which of itself demands you and your time, will help establish professional relationships to the extent that you are likely to know about someone’s health problems and recognise times when that person might be struggling. That carefully planned question, asked in the right way at the right time, might just be what someone needs.
From an employer’s perspective being aware of health problems might lead you to offer support through an employee assistance programme or occupational health. It might also mean that you can make reasonable adjustments (which I touched on in my previous blog), and might mean that legally you have to make adjustments if someone is deemed to be disabled, or is likely to be. But if there is one thing we can all do in supporting colleagues it’s to ask questions and never assume. The individual themselves is the person usually best placed to know what support they need once they are recovering.
Self-care
When on the receiving end of a difficult conversation about someone’s health, especially if touching on subjects like suicide, you should expect to have an emotional reaction and so do take care of your own feelings. There’s no prescriptive way of doing that, and respecting confidentiality is important, but a workplace mental health first aider might be available, your employer might have an employee assistance programme or you might share your experience with a loved one.
Whatever the next few weeks and months bring, take care of yourselves and each other.